day 120
Today is a public holiday which meant I could afford to go to bed a little later than usual last night. To celebrate the occasion we decided to go to a casino and waste a bit of money. It was a relatively small place with twenty or so slot machines, a few poker, blackjack and roulette tables, and numerous bar staff with stupidly big silicon breasts and ridiculously small mini skirts.
I went with a couple of thousand pesos (about 40 Euros) and started off pretty well. After about an hour on the roulette table and half an hour of blackjack I was up 3500 pesos and feeling rich. I should really have cashed in my chips and stopped playing at that point but they kept offering me free drinks so I kept gambling.
By 2AM I’d completely run out of chips so Martin (who was doing pretty well) gave me 1000 pesos to keep going. That was a bad idea because I lost all that too! Anyway it was all good fun and a worthwhile lesson learned: avoid gambling but if you really must, at least collect your winnings before you lose them!
When we left, Sophie cashed in about 5000 pesos while Martin went home, pockets bulging, with 17000 pesos (that’s about 340 Euros!).
day 110
I’ve been making a website for this guy for the past couple of months and this weekend I went to his house to finish it off and get paid. This guy runs a business installing high tech electrical and electronic systems such as remote-controlled lighting systems, audio equipment and wireless networks.
One of his projects was his own apartment. Being a bit of a techno geek myself, I walked into this place drooling. I’ve never seen so much technology in one household. Allow me to explain.
Pretty much everything is hooked up to a big box which can be controlled from little touch screen displays built into the walls. He began his demonstration by dimming the lights in every room in the flat simultaneously. He then selected the room we were in and switched the lights to “disco mode”, where they turn into little strobes, and this was accompanied by music. He turned the volume up and down just to show off a bit more, and just when I thought I was going to die due to a mixture of jealousy and admiration, he whipped out his iPhone and proceeded to control everything he’d just shown me but from the phone. I actually nearly did die at this point.
Anyway, as if that weren’t enough, he has the same equipment installed in his office in the capital. He logged in on his PC and showed me how he can control all those things (and more) remotely over the internet. What’s more, he has security cameras installed at various sites where his company is currently working which he can view and control directly from his PC – as can his colleagues in Holland, Italy and Japan.
Obviously this guy has a satellite dish, flat panel TV and surround sound system with a gigantic sub-woofer, but what’s not so obvious is the projector attached to the ceiling which he uses for “movie time”, as he so eloquently describes it.
For my technically inclined readers, he also has Ethernet wall jacks all over the place just in case you can’t be bothered to type the password in for the Wi-Fi. This is something you’d usually find in an office block, not someone’s house! Seriously, it’s absolutely mental.
I’m sure there’s more to say but I’m finding it difficult to remember any of it as I’m currently suffering from post-technology overdose disorder.
day 98
I got up later than usual this morning so Martin and Sophie left without me and I called a taxi. But as I was walking out of the door the new babysitter (who I’ve never met before) stopped me and asked me for my number “just in case something happened during the day”. I gave it to her without really thinking twice.
Later on I got a missed call at school. Again, didn’t think anything of it. Then I got a message from the same number telling me, and I quote/translate: “I like you a lot and I want to be with you”. This time I thought it must be someone at school who somehow got my number and wanted to take the piss. So I asked around to see if anyone knew the number, but to no avail.
Later in the afternoon I got another missed call. This time I called the number back and guess who it was. Yes, the bleeding babysitter!
The conversation went something like this:
Babysitter: Hello
Me: Hello. Who’s speaking?
Babysitter: It’s Sophie’s babysitter. How’s it going?
Me: Fine thanks. How are you?
Babysitter: Good! Did you get my message?
Me: Hmm, that was you?
Babysitter: Yes! So did you read it?
Me: Yes I did.
Babysitter: And?
Me: Well… hmm… I’m not sure what to say.
Babysitter: Ok. So, what are you doing?
Me: Eating at the moment.
Babysitter: Ok, is Sophie around?
Me: Yes. Would like to talk to her?
Babysitter: No. So, tell me something…
Me: Hmm, just finshed work and having dinner. What about you?
Babysitter: Oh, I’m at home. So, tell me something…
Me: Well, look, I’m not sure what to say. I don’t even know your name.
Babysitter: I’m [insert name here, I've forgotten it] Your name’s Daniel, right?
Me: Yes, it is.
Babysitter: So what’s up?
Me: Look, can we carry this conversation on by message? I don’t have much credit left.
Babysitter: Sure, no problem. Take care. Bye!
Me: Ok, bye.
And that was it… As I write this I’ve just received two more messages from her telling me that in her eyes I’m a very special person and then another one asking why I’m not replying.
I’ve never met this girl in my life and I’m not the least bit attracted to her and yet she’s calling me as if I was the love of her life. And, surprise surprise, she just called me again.
If anyone has any friendly advice on how I can let her down easily, I’d be very grateful. I thought of telling her I already have a girlfriend or that it’s not worth starting a relationship because I’m leaving in a month but who’s to say she’ll stop calling if I tell her that? I could be brutally honest of course but again, that might not work.
I’m sure most of you are rolling around on the floor in fits of hysteria asking yourselves how bad can it be. But seriously, it’s more annoying than funny not least because I have no idea how to let someone down easily in Spanish! Oh God, she’s calling again…
day 97
Apologies for neglecting the blog in recent weeks but I’ve been rather busy at school getting exams ready. My own studies have also kept me hard at work and it seems to be paying off. I’m not one to boast about my academic achievements (namely due to the fact that I don’t have much to boast about) but somehow I managed to get marks in the high 90s on my last three assignments (99% on the last one!). So, have I become some kind of uber dorky mega nerd? Well, I should hope not but it’s certainly starting to look that way.
Moving on. My phone decided to go mental this weekend for no particular reason. Half the keys have re-mapped themselves so that what used to be a 2 is now an 8. The 8 is a 2. The 5 has become the delete key and the delete key only works when it realises that it’s not a 5. The 0 key doesn’t work at all, which is a shame given that the standard prefix for most numbers in this country has a zero in it. What’s more, the button to navigate backwards in menus has become the select key. This leaves me with a phone I can’t dial numbers on and if instead I choose a contact from the phonebook, I can’t get back to the home screen without turning the bloody thing off and back on again.
Most of you who know me well are probably thinking that I’ve gone and blown all my money on a brand spanking new iPhone to replace it. You’d be wrong. I actually went on a bargain hunt and bought a new Nokia for 645 pesos (€13). At this point, I would usually take great pleasure in listing all its features but as you might have guessed from the price, it doesn’t have any! Do you remember when mobiles had yellow backlit screens and no camera, or picture messages, or bluetooth, or internet? Well, that’s pretty much what I’ve got now. But I’m not moaning because it was a bargain and it vibrates, which ten years ago was an optional extra. In fact it’s so retro, it almost makes me feel old.
day 83
Yesterday morning I woke up bright and early and started getting ready for school. It had occurred to me just before I left that Sophie, Martin and Chloé were still in bed, but I didn’t fancy waking them at 6.30am to find out why so I left.
When I arrived the school was completely deserted. I looked at my taxi driver and he cried, “Oh but today’s a public holiday! I could have told you that!”
So why didn’t you? I thought as I paid him to drive me home again.
I was secretly hoping the same would happen again this morning but unfortunately everyone decided to turn up today.
day 47
All is well in the Republican Dominic (as my mum likes to call it!) and today I finished work on the school’s web site. I registered the domain name colegiobuenavista.com this morning and got the Spanish version online. I’m uploading the English version at the moment but it’s taking a while as internet connections in this country are a joke. The French version is also on its way but needs some serious proof reading before I dare put it online. Please have a visit and give me some feedback, even if it’s just to report a typo. Note that the English version is written in American English on purpose, hence all the Z’s where us normal people would tend to use an S (not to mention “enrol” instead of “enroll” and all the badly formatted dates). Ok, I’m being pedantic. Let’s move on.
In other news, I’ve had two colds since my arrival here thanks to the combination of the baking heat outdoors and the icy cold air-conditioning indoors. So the other day I went to the chemist’s to buy some cough mixture. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the sign outside the door.
It turns out even seeking medical advice in this country is a bit of a lottery. Anyway, not knowing the word for cough mixture, I gesticulated frantically and gave a very long-winded explanation. They eventually understood. And if ever you happen to find yourself in a similar situation and want to avoid gesticulating like a monkey and getting funny looks, the word for cough mixture is “jarabe para la tos”.
Looks like the English version of the school web site has finished uploading. Looking forward to some constructive criticism from any one who dares! 
day 34
Feeling a little lonely and bored in La Romana, Sophie’s boyfriend, Martin, decided to take me on a little trip over the weekend. We went to La Vega, a four hour drive from where I live to meet his friends and family. La Vega (not to be confused with Las Vegas) is a small city situated in the heart of the country. (NOTE: La Vega is both a city and a province, as is La Romana. In each case I am referring to the cities – and obviously they are each located in their respective provinces.)
Despite the fact that we were nearly killed on our way when Martin (in typical Dominican fashion) swerved violently to avoid a huge obstacle in the middle of the road at 140 km/h, the drive there was an enjoyable one. I got to know Martin a little better as we chatted about this and that and “oohed” and “aahed” at the contents of each other’s iPods. To my delight I found out he’s a fan of Guns n Roses which for a man who also likes Beyonce and 50 Cent surprised me somewhat.
We arrived late on Friday evening, stopped by his mother’s to say hello and immediately hit the town to meet his friends. We watched a local band play and drank God knows how many beers as I did my best to socialise. It’s always a bit awkward when you find yourself amongst a group of very close friends and you don’t know anybody, but they were all very friendly and after a couple of hours and many more beers I felt more at home than I have since I got here. Martin even plucked up the courage to sing a couple of songs with the band as I sneakily filmed from the wings, knowing full well it was perfect blog material.
Shortly after this eye-watering performance it started to rain so we headed indoors for a few more drinks and said our good byes (needless to say they love drinking in this country – must be weather or something). We slept the night at Martin’s mother’s house to avoid spending money in a hotel but – and he had warned me – there would be no hot water in the morning. I’ve never had such a cold shower in my life. It can’t have lasted more than 20 seconds, I joke not.
The following day we did a little shopping and booked a night in an air-conditioned hotel with hot water and free Wi-Fi. Before long the sun was setting and it was time to hit the town again. This time we went to a quiet little bar where things got a bit dull. We decided to go to Santiago, a city about 25 km away. We pigged out on some much needed KFC and looked for a pool hall. There were two that Martin knew of but one was full and the other was shut. “Bollocks,” we thought as we headed back to La Vega and instead went to a small club where men were expected to pay an entrance fee, which we somehow managed to avoid (I hope they didn’t confuse us for women!). In any case, any money I saved at the door was soon spent on a couple of Vodka Red Bulls and yet more beer. Dear oh dear, I thought I’d left my blow-all-your-money-and-drink-as-much-as-you-can days behind me.
All in all it was a fun weekend in which I got to practice my Spanish outside the classroom and got to know some interesting people.
day 12
I attempted to cook a lasagne for the frenchies today. It was all going very smoothly and as we were finishing off I started pre-heating the gas oven. Ten minutes later I checked to see if it was hot enough but the flame had gone out. Being a reasonably well educated chap (and having watched many an episode of 999 Lifesavers, back in the day), I turned the gas off and left the oven door open to air it out and let the gas escape before attempting to light it again. What I conveniently forgot was that between the flame and the rest of the oven lies a metal panel which I had forgotten to remove. So, a few minutes later I got the lighter out, lifted the metal panel, lit the lighter and BOOM!! A raging fireball came flying out of the oven as I leapt backwards to avoid burning my eyebrows off (again… some of you may remember that embarrassing story which I won’t go into here).
Luckily no one was seriously injured and my eyebrows are still in tact. I burnt my fingers but not too badly.
So what did I learn from this experience?
1. Always try to use an electric oven, if possible. If you have no choice but to use gas, never put it on maximum as this will cause too much gas to come out and actually put the flame out.
2. If you do get burned, don’t bother putting ice on it, use Vicks (yes, the stuff you put on your chest when you have a cold. It works!)
3. If you can’t cook, don’t cook.
It has to be said that the end result was actually quite tasty but the making of was frankly very dangerous. Next time I’ll stick to electricity, although they don’t seem to know what that is in this country.
Other than that, I’m having a wonderful time but I miss you all very much. Also, the blog officially reached 4000 hits today so thank you very much to all of you who are keeping up with my progress.
Happy reading and buenas noches!
day 7
Last weekend I went to the capital to buy five new computers for the school. The old ones – which looked like were made by cavemen – were in a sorry state and only two of them still worked, so these new machines, with their sexy flat screens, have put a smile on everybody’s face including mine.
I’ve started teaching the older classes how to create a web page from scratch using HTML. They were all surprisingly enthusiastic and the results prove it. Everyone was able to create a basic page using different colours, incorporating images and formatting text. As boring as this may sound, it is actually a very rewarding feeling you get when you type what appears to be gibberish into Notepad and it turns into a nicely rendered page when viewed in a browser. My reward was that they enjoyed it, so I couldn’t be happier. Philippe says he’ll send me back to the capital next month to buy five more computers. This is great news because at the moment I take my classes in two separate groups and they still have to share a computer as there aren’t enough to round.
Life at Sophie’s is also hunky-dory. I get on so well with her daughter who, it has to be said, is the cutest two-year-old I’ve ever met. It’s been decided that I’ll be living with Sophie for as long as I’m here as it’s cheaper for everyone and it means I have some company in the evenings. It also means I’m in a fully furnished and well-equipped apartment with everything I need at my disposal, including a room with a view, a petrol-powered generator for when the power goes (la planta) and a washing machine.
Having said that, I’d probably be better off washing my clothes by hand because when I got home today I put a load in the machine and washed them with floor cleaner by accident. Thankfully Sophie noticed that my wash didn’t smell quite right and she added some washing powder. Next time I’ll read the label before throwing in half a pint of the first liquid I see. I do hope my clothes aren’t ruined, but if they are, at least they’ll smell good.
dominican journal v2.0 –– day 1
I woke up this morning feeling surprisingly in sync but completely unprepared. Nevertheless, my first day went as well as could be expected. I spent the morning with the younger classes revising things they already knew which, to be fair, wasn’t much. When I asked them what they’d done with the old computing teacher they all yelled in unison: NADA! This made me laugh at first as it’s a fairly typical answer from a class of six-year-olds. Maybe my next class will remember what they’ve learned, I thought to myself as I walked in and repeated the question. “NADA!”, they shouted.
Still unsure as to whether this scarily blunt response was true or not, I walked into my third class and once again got the same answer. At this point I thought it might be worth asking Philippe (my boss/headmaster) as surely he knew what they’d been up to. I think by now you can guess what he told me. Turns out they’re all world champions at Solitaire and Minesweeper, but when it comes to computer-related activities that don’t involve games, they’re utterly clueless. I’m not surprised they fired the other guy.
In other news, I’m staying at Sophie’s apartment with her boyfriend, their two kids and the maid. It’s very close to the school and in a quiet little area which makes a change from two years ago. The maid stays in all day looking after Sophie’s youngest which affords me (and my belongings) a little extra security.
On the whole, life is good and I’m looking forward to the next four months. I won’t even bother to mention the weather because it’s obviously freakin’ awesome!!
That’s all for now folks.
P.S. Thanks to all of you who came out on my last night in Brussels. We had a good laugh (especially when Kevin went to the wrong toilet and woke the landlord!). The pasta incident was also hilarious. Kevin, can I hire you as an entertainer? Although for the full effect I would have to hire Wheeler too. Apologies to Gina for the all noise and chaos we caused. It was totally worth it though, n’est-ce-pas?
